Making Strides in Independence...or something like that

Preface:
This post was composed yesterday (Monday) and was supposed to be posted yesterday but my internet at home was down yet again, so it's being posted today. Hopefully you will not be too confused by this (I think you should be able to figure it out, especially since I told you).

So today was kind of a big day for me. I did a few things I have never done before. I went to the movies by myself and I killed a decent sized spider. Now these may not sound like personal triumphs to some of you, but they are to me. I conquered two fears in one day.

I didn't realize I was afraid of going to the movies by myself until I actually entertained the possibility for the first time a few years ago. It seems like a weird thing to be afraid of, but I have been afraid of it. This may be in large part because I am that awful person who sees people alone at the movies, and thinks don't they have any friends? I know this is bad, judgmental and frankly down right stupid, because basically everyone has friends of some kind, but I have been known to think that (I'm trying to be honest here). So every time I have thought about going to the movies by myself I have opted not to for fear that someone would think just that about me. And besides I always thought going to the movies would just stink if you didn't have anyone to discuss it with afterwards. Again stupid, since I watch DVDs by myself all the time. And also sometimes other people have ruined a movie for me that I really enjoyed by telling me how much they didn't like it afterwards. But despite all this I was always afraid of going alone.

Marie Antoinette was a movie I wanted to see so badly that I decided to go anyway. I had tried multiple times this weekend to see it with someone else, all of which eventually fell through, and I just couldn't wait any longer. I decided to ease into things and go to a matinee (less people to see me in my loner state, sad, but true). I had to go to Gallery Place anyway to buy new comfy ballet flats for work, so why not just stop off and see it as long as it was my day off and I was already there? And the truth is, I now love going to the movies by myself. Here is why:

-I didn't have to share the armrests with anyone.
-When I sat indian style my knees weren't in anyone's way.
-No sharing refreshments (and yes I'm a good sharer, but sometimes its nice not to).
-When I went to the bathroom in the middle (curse my incredibly small bladder!) I didn't have to step over anyone (obviously the Monday matinee is also a factor here, since there were about 15 people in the theater, but still).
-I never once though Why do I think this is funny, but my friends don't?
-And at the end of it all, when I had seen a movie I really enjoyed, there was no one there to call it trite or contrived or superficial (which some of my friends definitely would have said about this movie).

I loved the movie and I loved that I saw it by myself. It was just perfect that way. I got to be the girl who likes movies like that. And there was nothing wrong with me liking it. Plus I got a good dose of that in public, but alone feeling that I love. The whole thing was really incredibly pleasant.


Also for those of you that have heard the buzz about Marie Antoinette but don't know whether or not to see it let me say this: FIrst off, in the past have you enojyed the same movies as me (because this is soooo a winsexy kind of movie)? Do you like period movies? Do you love period movies with intentional anachronistic modern touches? Do you like alternative representations of history? Do you have a strange sympathy for Marie Antoinette? Do you like Kirsten Dunst? Do you like Sofia Coppola? Do you like movies about girl who just don't quite belong no matter how hard they try? If you can answer yes to at least half these questions, you may very well like it and it might be worth seeing. If you hate all of these things, I would hold back. I, of course, can answer yes to call of these question, which is probably why I liked it so much, but you might not. But enough about the movie, on to the next big thing.

As irrational as it may be, I have been seriously afraid of spiders for as long as I can remember. They are beyond creepy to me. I have nightmares about them on a regular basis. I freak out when I see one bigger than the teeny tiny ant sized ones. And right now I would like to say a special thank you to those of you who held me down in a chair and made me watch Arachnaphobia when I was in high school, because that really helped the situation. Anyway, I have always been one of those girls who has screamed, run out of the room, and gotten someone better equipped to deal with the situation. But today when I noticed the really disgustingly big spider that was attempting to actually take over my entire kitchen (no kidding, the webs are like in one whole corner), I knew things had to change. There is no longer anyone better equipped to deal with the situation. It is just me. So I grabbed my shoe, and I smacked it three times, until it was good and smushed. Now I have not quite worked up the nerve to clean up the spider guts yet. I just put a bag of potting soil on top of it to make sure he couldn't rejuvenate and live to build more webs in my already very small kitchen (you never know, they're really very tricky creatures). But I think the act of killing in and of its self is a really big step, so maybe I'll clean it up tomorrow.

So be proud of me fellow independent folks. I am slowly learning to join your ranks.